Episode 10 - Finding Grace: Navigating Faith and Family

In this episode, join Dalila as she shares her personal journey of exploring the transformative power of grace and navigating the complexities of faith and family. Growing up in a large family, Dalila reflects on her experiences of being the middle child, the challenges of striving for perfection, and discovering how embracing spirituality can lead to profound personal growth. Through candid storytelling, she reveals how her relationship with Jesus has been a constant anchor amidst life's changes, offering hope and inspiration to those seeking a deeper connection with God.

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"And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death." - Revelation 12:11

Transcript

Introduction & Background

Tasha 0:04

You're listening to the Soaking Ground, a podcast for spiritually dry and weary souls. Just as the rain soaks the earth, healing and recharging it, God wants to saturate the earth with testimony of salvation and life through Jesus, the source of living water.

Childhood & Church Influence

Dalila 0:28

My name is Delila and I grew up in a big family. I have four sisters and one brother, and I am fourth born. And so I was pretty much classically the middle child. I felt like I was always getting in trouble, but only at church or at home. Not at school. I loved school, and that is where I was on the straight and narrow path, but I did get in trouble a lot at church and at home. And I felt like when I got in trouble with my older siblings, it was because I was younger and I should be respecting them. And when I got in trouble with my younger siblings, it was because I was older and I should be an example. I kind of there was like tension there, like, you know, where do I kind of fit in? Because I was pulled in different directions. But we grew up in church. My parents very much believed it takes a village, especially to raise six kids. And so I loved, loved, loved being in church. I had a phenomenal children's church leader, and I learned a lot. And Jesus just made sense to me as a kid. And I was very logical and very literal, like Jesus is perfect, Jesus loves me. The Bible says to be like him. And that's what I wanted to do. And so that's really what I did. Um, I knew that I needed saving. And so I went several times to the altar, went up to get prayed for, or even in my seat just to say, Jesus, I am a sinner. I do things that aren't aligned with who you are, and I need you as a savior, and I want you to be the savior of my life. So I pursued Jesus

Baptism & Personal Growth

Dalila 2:12

with all that I could. But a true shift happened when I got baptized. I understood around 11 or 12 that when you go down in the water, you leave your old life and you come out of the water and you're a new creature. And I just loved that. And I hated being kind of labeled as the troublemaker. And so I made up in my mind this was a fresh start. And I truly did believe that after I was baptized, I was getting a fresh start. But then I went on like a just a hard pursuit of trying to be perfect and not really grasping grace and that God has to work through me. I tried to do a lot on my own. And so um that was also a struggle. There was also some tension there, and so I found myself wanting to run away from anybody who reminded me of how I used to be. And so I loved going to college and kind of being away from home and being able to write my own story, so to speak. But I did also have friends in college who remembered how I

College & Independence

Dalila 3:26

was before. And so I felt like I again was I was fighting the you remember when you used to get in trouble a lot, and I didn't like that. So I also moved away. Moved where I knew no one, and that was like spiritual boot camp because I really truly had to depend on God. I didn't know anybody in the area, I had a very difficult job, but I met a ton of wonderful people, and I really saw God kind of shine through a very difficult situation, and I began to realize how much how much I took for granted the fact that I would visit churches, and I remember standing in service and thinking, I haven't hugged anyone in a really long time, and I missed that. And not long after that, I don't know who gave me a hug. I didn't tell people, you know, I really want to hug, but I feel I feel like God provided a hug and just things as small as that. But it was a wonderful time for me to get

Marriage & Faith Challenges

Dalila 4:37

to know God for myself at a deeper level. And when I moved, I got married and I came face to face again with my plan versus God's plan and what I knew that He promised me versus what my life was looking like. I in my mind had an idea of how I was what my love story was going to look like, what my marriage was gonna look like. And uh my mom had six kids between the ages of 25 and 35, and that did not happen for me, and I have wrestled with that a lot because I've worked so hard to be like Jesus, to do things quote unquote perfectly, and to see what I thought was right not look like the way that I planned has been challenging and very painful and kind of confusing. But I've also seen God work in wonderful ways through very challenging situations, and I'm very, very hopeful for what He has for me in the future.

Ivet 5:50

Was there ever a time that you felt like a deep longing or emptiness or spiritual thirst in your life? Okay,

Longing for Understanding

Ivet 5:59

yes.

Dalila 6:00

As a child, I did have a longing to have kind of intimate or personal love and like that relationship to be understood. I wanted attention, but being understood, I think, was kind of like the hallmark even today. I want people to understand me, and that's why I also studied communication so I could help people who have difficulty expressing themselves be able to have a voice and to be heard and to be understood and to be known that intimately. And I think that that is what keeps me grounded because I find that in my relationship with Jesus, and I have not found that anywhere else in my life because I never will. And so that is the most consistent aspect of my life, and that's what keeps me rooted and grounded in what I believe, because that's that's

Realization of Salvation

Dalila 6:58

my story.

Ivet 6:58

Was there a moment in your life growing up as a Christian that you realized that Jesus offers salvation, or you always understood that Jesus is the only way? Was like, was there a moment that you felt like you were born again?

Dalila 7:14

I can't think of a singular moment because I did it so often. Just confessed things that I knew were not God's way and asked him to forgive me, knowing that he's already forgiven me and that I needed to accept his forgiveness. And I think that it was most impactful to see it in other people's lives when I saw other people make the decision. That's what truly moves me the most. But I actually think that that is a gift from God. My faith, that's where my parents kind of raised me because I have clung to it with my whole heart, and I don't know how to

Journaling & Gratitude

Dalila 7:58

let go. I will say that I have been journaling or documenting, I guess, since the third grade. My dad bought me a journal at a book fair, and I was flipping through it recently, and I wrote, I want to be able to remember things for a long time. I don't know why. I feel like I forget things quickly, and so I feel like if I don't write it down, then I won't remember, and I just have this desire for things to be fair, and I need to sometimes use my journals to remind me of all that God has done. And it is amazing because I do not remember a lot of the things that I wrote down, and I just move on to the next obstacle so quickly that I have to be very intentional about sitting down, celebrating the small wins, and um just seeing how he got me through difficult situations. Like I've written in college, hey Lord, I have you know $40 in my bank account and I need to pay for my classes and I need to pay for food. And then, you know, the next month I'm like, oh, I'm going on a trip with my friends, completely forgetting that I had no money and that he had this provision for me already built in. And so it helps me remain grateful and remember that he's working even when I'm not remembering. Or if people have hurt me before, sometimes I'll forget. And in and uh it's not a good thing, but sometimes I'll go back and I'll say, I'll remember that they hurt me. Like, I don't want that to happen to me again, and then I'll start trying to protect myself, but that's also God's job. It is not my job to protect and try to make things right. Like again, I try to do God's job so much, but remembering that I'm just grateful that he is able to do that for me is what kind of brings

Impact on Others & Prayer

Dalila 10:01

me back.

Ivet 10:01

How does your relationship with Jesus flow out to the people around you?

Dalila 10:05

I have thought about that, and I thought about it in the context of how other people's relationship with Jesus flows out to me. And I think because I've been inspired by other people, that's the only way that I can articulate it. I know that Jesus loves me and he's intentional with me, and he sees me, and it does feel good to be known, to be seen, and to be heard. And so I try to be intentional with other people, to truly get to know them, see them, hear them, and let them know that they're heard, and that's meaningful to people. Sometimes when I'm having a difficult time, I will write down um what the kind things that people have said to me, and I'll keep it on a sticky note. I'll find random sticky notes or sheets of paper, and I will read, like, oh, somebody said like something really nice to me about to me about me. And so now I know, like, oh, I did have an impact on their lives. And so that's that's what I use to kind of see, like, oh, you know, I was really inspired. I worked in a nursing facility, and a lady had um dementia, but she read Psalm 121 every single day. And I lift up my eyes to the hills from where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. And so I kind of work that into our sessions, but it's so helpful when I'm in trouble to remember where does my help come from? And so I try to do the same when others are in trouble, like guide them to passages in the Bible that have kind of helped me or songs. I do believe that God speaks to me through music. And so when I share things musically with other people, they have told me like that really blessed me or that really helped me. And so I do believe that it flows out to other people. And it's good that I don't know all the time because I don't want to become prideful and start taking the credit for that. It's like, oh, look at me when I know that it's only God.

Ivet 12:22

You mentioned that you got married, and if you were able to tell us a little bit about how your relationship with your husband is having Jesus in your life.

Dalila 12:32

We are only married because Jesus is in our relationship, and we have both chosen to stick with it. It has been very, very difficult in our marriage. We've been married for nine years, and we have not been able to have kids for eight years, and maybe five years of not being able to have kids. I think it kind of silently took more of a toll on my husband. There was a lot of wedges being put in between of us to separate us and truly a fight to stay together. But I have seen when I am weak, he is stronger. And when he is strong, you know, like just there's a reciprocal relationship, a understanding that we are in it together and meant to encourage each other with God, you know, pray together, go to marriage counseling together, do individual counseling, doing whatever it takes, but remaining rooted and grounded in the word of God.

Ivet 13:37

Is there a time when your faith in Jesus helps someone else who was thirsty for the truth of God?

Dalila 13:43

It's hard for me to think of that, but I really believe in the power of prayer. And so I pray for people all the time. And a lot of times when people ask me for advice, I will lead with, I have to pray about it first before I give uh an answer. But I also have done a few potentially questionable things. I thought that they were bold, but when I did move away to a place where I didn't know anyone, I picked up a lady who was hitchhiking. But before I picked her up, I passed her and I went to my park, my apartment complex, and I just sat in the car and I prayed. Lord, am I supposed to do this? Like, is this a good idea? Um, and I thought about the consequences and I thought, what if something bad does happen? I don't know where I'm at, I don't know who she is. Um, and I just felt like I was supposed to give her a ride wherever she was going. So I did go back and I picked her up. And it turns out that her car broke down, and then the person who was giving her a ride, their car broke down. And she lived at the top of a mountain, and her daughter was five years old, and they drop the five-year-olds at the the end of a driveway. But if someone is not there, they take the child back to the school, and she didn't have a car. So if they were to take the child back to the school, she wouldn't be able to pick up her daughter. And so she said, I'm so grateful and I'm so thankful. I was on the phone. I've been praying, trying to ask for help for somebody because she would have never made it where where I dropped her off at. And she said, And I'm so thankful that you're not a crazy person. And I said, I am so thankful that you're not a crazy person. So we were both thankful that it was a safe situation. And I told her, I was like, I definitely prayed before I picked you up. And I was able to give her like a drink and a sandwich that I had bought and didn't eat my lunch. And she was so grateful that that I gave her a ride and in a seemingly hopeless situation, and it gave me an opportunity to just share with her that God did send her some help. And so I may never I will never know, but I hope that it uh strengthened her faith.

Ivet 16:05

You also um talked

Family & Faith

Ivet 16:07

about you have brothers and sisters, a total of six children, right? How was your relationship in your house having Jesus in your family's life when you guys were um you know young and living together?

Dalila 16:25

That is a good question. And I felt like, you know, had uh typical disagreements, but my parents really led by example. We had like times of devotion, and I always saw my mom studying the Bible, and because there were a lot of us in small spaces, she had to study at, you know, the table. She didn't have like an office that she could go to, and she is very involved in the church, and so was my dad, and we would have devotionals, and it was just a way of life, and so we made prayer our priority for dinner. My dad made has this wooden table that now is currently at my house, but it has each of our names etched into the side, and so when we were little, because we can't fit around it anymore, but when we were little, we all had a place where we could kneel around the table and pray. And so that was something, you know, looking back that I really value that I didn't realize it's not typical, but people were always commenting on how there were six kids and we all loved Jesus and were very involved in the church. And we still we still get along well even today. But I also saw that there was a time that my brother would not let me borrow some money, and I went to the Bible, and I have no idea how I found this, but in Matthew 542, I don't know why I remember it, it says that you are supposed to not turn away from somebody who wants to borrow from you. So here I am trying to use the Bible to meet my needs, and my brother still said no, and I just that really bothered me. I'm like, I'm using the Bible to settle this disagreement. Like, if you won't say yes to me, you have to say yes to Jesus. But he did not, and now I see I don't want to weaponize the Bible, and I am now seeing this is a way for me to get to know Jesus, not to just get from Jesus what I want. So it was things like that that would happen in like the Bible says, you know, do this or do that to try to manipulate, you know, each other to do what we wanted. But I don't know. It was just a part of our lives, musical. And so that's just a way that we expressed ourselves through music and through praise and worship. And my dad even said he wanted everybody in like the family to be able to play an instrument so that we could worship God in this way. So that's kind of what it was like being in a big family with kids who love Jesus, always serving, we love to serve amongst the typical sibling disagreements.

Daily Refreshment & Bible Verses

Ivet 19:16

How does your relationship with Jesus and the Holy Spirit refreshes you daily?

Dalila 19:20

I think it's a daily recalibration and a celebration and a reminder of what's most important in my life, because I wake up with an agenda. I am a list person and I have plans for the day and they look really good on paper, but God's plans for my life have always looked really good, like for the soul, because God's plans often come with interruptions, and I end up helping someone, and then I don't get to do the things that I have planned to do. And I can see that when I dedicate my day and my list to God, I'm able to handle the interruptions and the unexpected events that happen are inevitable throughout the day.

Ivet 20:11

Is there a specific Bible verse or passage in the Bible that has been meaningful to your journey, or is it special to you in some way? How has the word of God been a part of your transformation through Christ? There are several.

Dalila 20:25

I used to have Bible verses that were like my favorites, but then the more I got to know God, the more I realized I need the whole chapter. I need the context, I need more. But because of the fact that I like to journal and I like to document and I like to reflect a lot, Zaya 43, 18 and 19 really stood out to me a few years ago. And it says, fit the

Personal Relationship with Jesus

Dalila 20:52

former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up. Do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. And I love that because it's okay for me to have my journals and and to look back. But what I would do is look back and beat myself up for prayers that I was praying before, and then five years later I'm still praying or struggling with the same thing. And I would say, I would get upset with myself. Like, why am I still struggling with this? Like, what is this is the bad question. What is wrong with me? I have really, I have seen that through my journals over the years. What is wrong with me? And that is not what I should be dwelling on. I should be dwelling on who I am in Christ and what God is doing. And the do you not perceive it sticks out to me because sometimes I'm not looking for what God is doing. And yes, He can make a way out of no way. Can be cliche, but for me, it can be both. I can be crying tears of sorrow and joy at the same time. And I think for a long time I thought it was kind of exclusive. I have to be suffering and suffering only or rejoicing and rejoicing only, but no, it can be both. And if I look around, I can see what God is doing in any circumstance that I'm in. And I have been in some really dark places and just like thinking that it was the end of my life. Like I have literally said, okay, Lord, you must be going to take me now. And that's when something like he brings a song to my mind because he lives. I can face tomorrow. That's how I'm then encouraged. Nope, this isn't the end. He is doing something new.

Ivet 22:52

Is there anything else you want to share about Jesus with our listeners, especially those who do not know Jesus yet?

Dalila 22:58

I think one thing that my mom would always say was taste and see that the Lord is good. And that is Psalm 34, 8. Having a personal relationship with Jesus has meant a lot to me. And I'm not really sure how my parents did that for all of us, but we all have different relationships with God, as everybody does. But it truly has anchored me that the fact that my life and my relationship with him is unique to me. And he doesn't want me to carry any guilt or shame about anything that has happened in my past is very important to me. And I think it should be important to others because it is really easy to compare yourself to somebody else's story or to somebody else's relationship. In college, I know some of the leaders would they say they, you know, they pray for an hour every day. They read their Bible for an hour every day. And, you know, it's first thing in the morning and it's so regimented. But for me, what it looks like is journaling and listening to music and singing, and it looks different than somebody else's relationship, but it that's personal and unique to me. It truly is a personal relationship, and everyone can have that. That's what God wants, is for each of us to have a personal and intimate relationship with Jesus. Who is Jesus for you personally? He is my anchor and my everything. He is everything that he says that he is in the Bible, my provider, my friend. My relationship with Jesus is the only constant and consistent aspect of my life. And as a child, I remember there's so much changing around me. Like I'm changing, my family is changing, my friends are changing, but my relationship with Jesus is not changing. Like it's getting better, but he's the same. Like I'm getting to know more, but he's still the same. I'm getting to know him better, and there's so much to learn, but again, he's still the same. And I value that because there's nothing else in the entire world that stays consistent like Jesus

Prayer for Listeners & Conclusion

Dalila 25:22

does.

Ivet 25:22

Would, you pray for our listeners, especially for those that don't know Jesus. Yeah.

Dalila 25:26

Yes, of course. Heavenly Father, thank you for the privilege to share a piece of my story. And I thank you for those who are listening. And I just pray that what gets put across is that this is not about me, this is about you. And I pray that we all can taste and see for ourselves what a relationship with you looks like. And I just pray that all the listeners are blessed and are moved and drawn closer to you by continuing to deepen their relationships at whatever level, that they come as they are, know that the playing field is level and that there is enough seeds for us all. I just ask that you give us strength to take another day and bring those of us who are not yet in a personal relationship with you into your kingdom. And it's in Jesus' name I pray. Amen. Amen.

Tasha 26:33

Thank you for joining us today at The Soaking Ground. For more testimonies, please like, share, and subscribe. You may contact us at thesoakingground.info at gmail.com.